Software FAIL

[iphone] Who would ever schedule a phone call?

1. iPhone alerts me to a pending calendar event
2. I unlock the phone to see that it’s a call I need to make
3. The phone number is handily in the calender entry
4. Tap number
5. Tap number
6. Tap number
7. Double-tap number
8. Pinch
9. Squeeze
10. Shake
11. Get pad of paper
12. Write down number
13. Dial manually on keypad

[java] W2t T1e F2k i0s u0p w2h t2s, a6s?

1. Take word that is not that fucking hard to type, especially when you use an editor from the 21st century that can complete dictionary words
2. Count the number of letters in the word
3. Subtract two
4. Type the first letter of the word
5. Type the number from step 3
6. Type the last letter of the word
7. Promote it to Java “programmers” as, well, something to prove how dumb they are?  I have no fucking idea. Since when is typing “internationalization” is so difficult, but it’s totally cool to type AbstractDependencyInjectionSpringContextTests?

[maven] The 90210 of log messages

[INFO] ------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ERROR] BUILD FAILURE
[INFO] ------------------------------------------------------------------------
[INFO] Compilation failure

Dear Maven:

The fucking ERROR message is “Compilation Failure”, ya fucksticks.

Sincerely,

Everyone who understand the definition of the words “Error” and “Info”

P.S. Thanks a million for letting us configure the log message level.

[Quicksilver] What is this "google" of which you speak of?

1. Invoke QuickSilver
2. Type “Google”
3. Scratch Head
4. Enable/Install Web Search
5. Invoke Quicksilver
6. Type “Google”
7. Wonder why in the fuck the default is to search Google MIT and not the most used and popular web search engine in the entire history of the fucking universe.

[Subversion] Can I use this software yet, boss?

“Can I commit yet?”

[Java] Switch Retardination

switch (someStringIGot) 
{
  case "foo" :
    doSomething();
  case "bar" :
    doSomethingElse
  default:
    throw new RuntimeException("Sorry dude");
}

1. If I understand that this is a compact if-else-if construct, why can’t Java?
2. What is the purpose of requiring me to have break? Fall-through is usually seen as a code-smell, and should be avoided.

[Java] This compiles

float f = Float.NaN;

[Java] Generically Stupid

Map<int,List<Float>> whyTheFuckAmIRepeatingMyself = new HashMap<int,List<Float>>();

The irony is, these types are discarded and only relevant at compile time. Then why am I typing them so God damn much??!?!

The solution: if you aren’t gonna actually enforce the types, save me some typing:

List list = getMeAList();
String s = list.get(4);

[Java] This doesn't compile

public class RetardedSyntaxerror
{
    public static void main(String args[])
    {
        doit(5);
    }

    public static void doit(Float f) { }
}